Trenchfoot

This weekend the Maritime Aquarium in CT is featuring a new exhibit, the endangered great white alligator. As an educated person, I know that it would be basically impossible for such a creature to not be pure evil. I refused to go anywhere near the exhibit. Instead I went to see "the brightest star in the universe", Kanye West. It was an magical quest, but it had its challenges.

One of the biggest threats of the evening occured while standing in line to be let into the Dodge Music Center. There were literally thousands of people vyeing for a few ticket lines in front of the center. I found myself in the center of a crowd so tightly packed that I was being held up entirely by the force of the crowd around me, with no use of my own muscles. Next to me was a boy around my age who was green and clearly about to throw up. He looked very much like a zombie and he was tapping on my shoulder. I forced a gap in the crowd and pushed him through so that he wouldn't throw up on me, because I am a kind person. His friends started yelling that he was going to throw up and started pushing away from him, which led the rest of the crowd to start yelling and pushing. If I friend had not held me up, I would have been forced over entirely and trampled. It was astounding. As I often do while standing in large crowds, I started wondering what would happen if the Rage broke out at the moment. There would literally be no chance of survival.
After I made it out of the mass, I had to travel up a long muddy hill and felt a lot like Frodo Baggins climbing up Mount Doom. I had to look supafly for Kanye, so I wasn't wearing anything to protect myself from the rain or the cold. Before the concert even began, water had completely soaked through my clothes. My new kicks were not coping with the elements as well as I would have liked. I remember remarking to my friends at some point that they were going to have to amputate my feet because I was sure I had trenchfoot. My feet were swimming in a puddle of water in my shoes. Bear Grylls would not have stood for it. I was just too distracted to take the steps to protect my feet. A rookie mistake. This did not matter once the show began. Kanye was so incredible I felt at times that my mind literally could not handle the experience and that I was going to have a stroke.

Fortunately, I am a champion, as I reminded myself of several times throughout the night. I survived a violent mob and lifethreatening diseases, probably the largest, muddiest hill in the entire world, and a horrifying storm. Also at one point I had to go to the bathroom and the only one around was in EroticZone, an X-rated video store. The facilities were subpar, and the customers: unsavory to say the least. But it was totally worth it. If I had gone to see that great white alligator, I'm certain that I would not be alive to blog about it right now.